2 months!

I can't believe how fast this past month having Jaron at home with us has flown by. The month before that when he was in the NICU seemed to drag on an on and I would find myself saying its only Monday ??? We are glad to be past that point in our lives but we still have tt make weekly trips to pediatritians, nutritionist , orthopaedic surgeons ,urologists along with other specialists.. .the list goes on but having him sleep in the bassinet next to me is worth it.

Ryker is slowly starting to adjust to Jaron being home . he has become a mamas boy and everything is "mama mama" but he loves to rub jarons head and say "baba" it's really the cutest thing I love having 2 boys .

Jaron got his 2 month shots today , it was heart breaking but we made it through! He is now 18 1/2 inches long and 6 pounds 9 ounces he has nearly doubled his birth weight. He is such a well behaved baby. We had an appointment with the eye specialist and ended up waiting for 3 hours and he was so good ! He is a good sleeper. He has gone 6 hours  at night...but don't tell the nutritionist. he usually gets up only twice and eats and goes right back to sleep! lol being a preemie they tell you not to go longer then 4 hours without feeding him but if he is sleeping I'm going to let him sleep !

He is so unlike ryker , he will only take a soother when he is hungry unlike ryker who wanted it all the time. He enjoys tummy time and rolling on his side which ryker hated. Ryker loved the car seat where as Jaron isn't a fan, maybe it's because he is so tiny we will wait and see if that changes. The one thing they do have in common is their muscousy noses ! I have two snorers on either side of me at night .
He is still on added calories where I add neosure to his bottles twice a day. I will be glad when that is done so I don't have topump every day. He has bad reflux and is still on rranitidine to help him feel better when that happens. ( its like zantac for babies)

Today we signed the papers at the lawyers . in 2 days we will be home owners. I am so excited for this stage in our lives. I am looking forward to being able to decorate and make it feel like home.
I never understood postpartum depression until now..even though it still shocks me but I never knew how you could be sad with a brand new baby. Its tough to say the least but am getting better now that Jaron is home. Still difficult to talk about.

This past weekend the flood hit medicine hat.luckily it wasn't as big as they were anticipating but lots of people in the flats were evacuated and have some damage to their homes my heart breaks thinking about having to leave everything behind and not knowing what will survive. Blake was out all weekend helping sand bag . the city didn't seem very organized at the beginning but really pulled together and did a lot of damage control. Things could have been a lot worse glad we were able to prepare for the rising water.

Now for some pictures!!

this is the same build-a-bear outfit that Ryker wore when he was little.

except Ryker filled it out quite a bit more!

who knew so much could happen in 2 weeks!

flash back to 2 weeks ago. early sunday morning
ahem.. this might be a long post, fair warning


at around 4am sunday april 14th i woke up , kinda soaked. Being nearly 30 weeks along, this baby was getting rather rambunctious and i thought to myself, great this baby just made me pee my pants! i changed and went back to bed without telling Blake, due to embarrassment. at 8am i woke up and was wet again and thought it was rather odd, in the back of my mind i was thinking it was my water breaking, but i had imagined a huge gush not a little trickle, and besides it was way way to early. as i stood up a little more gushed out and i yelled to Blake to take me to ER. we grabbed Ryker out of his crib and rushed there.
it took the drs a while to realize it was my water that had broken and the weather was just terrible that day and they wanted it to calm down so they could fly me to Calgary. They gave me steroids to help develop the babies lungs and because we had ryker Blake couldn't' fly with me. he went home and packed a few things and drove to calgary. i was in such a rush that i hadn't even eaten breakfast that morning.
By the time i got to Calgary i had started to have contractions and boy did my water break, it was everywhere, my water never broke with Ryker so i didn't know what to expect. they got my contractions under control and i sat on the monitors all day until they finally put me in a room and let me eat at 1030 that night.
i sat for a week and finished my antibiotics, i hate ivs! during that week i had to have my temperature/blood pressure and baby heart monitored every 4 hours. it was a rough week, especially because Ryker was learning to walk, had a bad ear infection and had 4 molars coming in all at the same time.
On monday morning i was released to home care as the baby had been sitting sideways in my tummy and if i had gone into labor it could have been bad. he had finally moved head down so i went to my aunts house and was going to wait out the 4 weeks until they induced me. the home nurse came the next morning and upon examining my tummy told me my baby was no longer head down and i had to return to the hospital. i called blake and i just cried, i had kept it together pretty well the whole week but that was the last straw. i couldn't handle going back there, being away from my other baby who needed me, living in that hospital with the terrible food and being woken up all night, not being able to sleep next to my husband
i went back to foothills where the ultrasound told me he was indeed head down and that nurse was crazy. PHEW! freaked out over nothing haha
headed back to my aunts and went to bed.
again around 4am i wake up with a gush ( note i had been gushing fluid for the past 10 days) but this was different. i got up to use the bathroom and was bleeding. i immediately called Blake and told him to get in the car and come to Calgary. i called my aunt who was upstairs to wake her up and let her know i needed to go back to the hospital. we called 911 , they picked us up and i headed to rockyview as it was the closer hospital. i wasn't having any contractions and the bleeding wasnt anything significant at that point i wasn't worried. i got to rockyview and they put me in the back room and left me for 20 minutes, no one came to see me. i was FREAKING out i just wanted to hear my babies heart beat and i felt fine, it was the baby i  was worried about.
they came in and took all of my history again because i had been at foothills and these guys knew nothing of what my situation was ( after just explaining everything to the ambulance people) the OB came in and examined me. i hadn't dilated at all but my bleeding had picked up. babies heart beat was okay so they felt good with transfering me to foothills. as i stood up i looked back and noticed the bed completely covered in blood and dripping on the floor. it is very unatural to see that much of your own  blood.
i went to foothills and sat in triage all day on the monitors, still not being able to eat anything. they put me in an emergency delivery room where Blake and i tried to sleep on the very awkwardly shaped birthing bed, my contractions came and went, blood pressure went up and down but babies heart beat stayed strong. So they said they would leave me until the baby showed signs of stress. i hated that idea. i didn't want to wait around until something was hurting my baby, but i didn't want to have him yet. i was only 30 weeks along.
 Thursday morning rolled around and after 36 hours they finally let me eat. best toast ever. my bleeding had slowed down and i was no longer having contractions. Blake decided he would go back to my aunts house and see ryker, have a shower eat some lunch and maybe have a nap. nothing was going on and i was just going to try to sleep some more.little did i know that was the calm before the storm. after blake left i started to get some cramping, the contractions got worse when i had a full bladder so i got up to use the bathroom and the bleeding came back worse then ever. i suddenly had the worst pain in my stomach, it felt like someone was ripping it out through mybelly button and i could feel constant pain through the contractions. the Dr came in and said they were taking the baby. i screamed WHERE IS MY HUSBAND?! i called him amoungst all the kayos and told him to promptly return to the hospital as his son was about to be born. ( ill have to admit those were not the exact words used)
They gave me this terrible drink that was supposed to calm my stomach as i had just eaten and wheeled me into the OR where they had me lie on my side to get a spinal, its a cruel punishment, he kept asking me to lie still, as im in the most pain in my life. yeah right buddy.
they got everything all set up and the sheet up under my chin and finally Blake walked in.suddenly things got real and i could no longer feel the pain as the spinal had kicked in and i realized they were taking my baby. its too early i kept saying its too early! the dr reassured me that they could no longer wait any longer and he would be born in a few short minutes. i just held blakes hand and closed my eyes. praying the the Lord wouldn't take my sweet baby from me. every trial i have ever been through in my whole life felt tiny and insignificant. all i could think about was this tiny little body that was about to be prematurely cut from my body. after some pressure and tugging i hear this tiny little cry, my heart skipped a beat. if anything i got to hear him, and suddenly my fear disappeared, i knew Heavenly Father was looking over me and that things were going to be okay. i told Blake to go take a picture so i could see what he looked like. they rushed him to the nicu and Blake followed along with. As the drs closed me up they told me that i had a huge blood clot in my uterus that had caused the placenta to start pulling away. had we waited it could have been very bad for me and the baby. they sewed me up and wheeled me to recovery. i was anxious to go see my baby. Blake and mom met me in the recovery room and my mom fed me ice chunks. they then wheeled me to post partum and waited for my spinal to ware off. 3 very long hours passed and i finally got into a wheel chair and went to the nicu to meet my baby for the first time.
Jaron Blake Smith born april 25th at 1:01pm weighing a whopping 3 pounds 12 ounces and 16.5 inches long.
nothing can prepare you to have a baby in the NICU. the hardest thing for me is having to ask to hold my baby, and when i do to see all the cords and wires that come along with it are heart breaking.

Jaron is a fighter and is doing so good. he has been breathing room air all along and is eating breastmilk through his feeding tube. he is only down 40 g from his birth weight. he has tons of blonde hair. He loves to cuddle and passes out everytime he hits blakes or my chest. Ryker is amused and wants to touch his feet and head.
he gets an ultrasound on his brain tomorrow to see how things are going.
we are blessed to have so much help, and that blake could get some time off work.
Jaron is tiny but strong and so far no infections or problems.
life is hectic but recovery is going very good, im already off my pain medications and able to get in and out of bed myself.

i can't believe my little boy is already 4 days old. these last 2 weeks have been the hardest days of my life. but i have grown and matured and have learned patience and faith. I am blessed to have an awesome husband and 2 beautiful boys ( not to mention all the family and friends who have helped out in so many ways)

this is only the beginning of Jarons long journey, but i am glad he is here, safe, being taken care of by some of the best drs in the country.

Happy birthday Ryker!

so i wrote this on his actual birthday and then blogger decided it wouldn't post it.. so i'm posting it now haha

My baby boy is no longer 0, this day is a great day not only because my healthy baby boy was born but because its the day my cancer was removed as well. its been a crazy year. but one that i wouldn't change for the world. Sounds funny when i say that, who wouldn't change getting cancer? its not that i loved it and welcomed it with open arms(because that certainly was not the case que hysteria and panic attacks), but it has taught me a lot. It has taught me to have faith and to trust in the Lord, more then I ever imagined I could. It has taught me to love my family and to enjoy each moment with my husband and my sweet baby boy, I am forever grateful that i'm healthy again and can see my babies grow and be a mother, its one of the best things I could ever imagine being. This past year has been full of so many good memories, it far outweighs the bad and i hope all my years to come are the same way. Life has been challenging, but every day when im woken up to Rykers sweet smiling face it makes the challenges a little easier to deal with

My pregnancy emotions are getting the best of me, i turn into this sappy cliche for 9 months it seems.
But this past week Blake took off work and we went to Canmore. We had tons of fun and Blake felt the baby kick for the first time, its been kicking now for nearly 3 weeks but seems to be asleep each time Blake tries to feel lol. We went on a hike up a frozen creek to some falls, which was really pretty and slippery but we had come prepared with ice cleats.

Our timeshare had a heated indoor/outdoor pool and we went swimming nearly every day, Ryker is learning to kick his feet and holding his breathe under water. We went skating out on the pond just off main street, Blake and I hadn't been skating since we were dating and the skates we had were a little on the small side so it was a quick skate but Ryker loved to be pulled in the sled.

my favorite part about the trip was last friday, Blakes parents spent the week in Edmonton and on their way back made a de-tour out to Canmore and watched Ryker for the day so Blake and I could go dog sledding. We were out at Spray Lakes and it was a 10 km ride. Blake and I unfortunetly got split up as there are 3 people to a sled so 2 couples had to split. but the Lady i had to squish in the basket with was nice. Blake got to drive the sled all by himself, they teach you the commands and you follow a guide who tells you certain hills or turns were coming up. We were in the back of the group of 12 sleds, our dogs were on their last run of the day and were just mozy-ing along and we were pretty far away from the rest of the group. when you go uphill you had to get off the back of the sled and help push it up. Blake doesn't enjoy running, let alone up a hill in snow gear helping push a sled with 2 adults in it, safe to say he was pretty tired after.

Blake and I at the half way point

 one of our dogs decided to take a nap mid ride, they make bathroom breaks along the way but the other dogs don't stop for them, so they just drag them along, its really funny

they were so cute, i wanted to take them all home

after the sled ride we got to hold one of the puppies, it was adorable, and now i want one.

Sat morning we got up and drove back to Medicine Hat and everyone came for Rykers birthday, we ended up having it at the church which was good because 26 people ended up coming. Our family is getting way to big to do family functions.

Todd and Becky made this awesome came for Ryker and he loved it, he was covered in the blue icing after. Ryker was spoiled and crashed pretty hard that night after coming down from his sugar high.

Today was a good day, Blake doesn't have to go back to work till tomorrow and i was able to go in for my ultrasound today. we found out Ryker is going to have a little baby brother. I hopefully they wont get into too much trouble.

2 boys... what am i going to do with 2 boys? I am excited for it to be a boy, as i don't have to go out shopping for all new clothes, but i hope that i will be blessed with a baby girl at some point, growing up with only brothers ive always dreamed of having a little baby girl, but for now i will be way out numbered :)

i guess that will take away some stress of having 2 boys so close together is I've had a boy before and survived, hopefully he will be a great baby just like Ryker.

 we were excited with how many people showed up, rykers cousin Wyatt came to visit for the first time!

 this cake was awesome and i'm so glad becky and todd were able to make it, as i didn't have time to make a cake when we got back from canmore.

ryker liked the cookies around the cake as well as the eyeballs

using his new birthday walker

what was left after he demolished it

eating more cake on his actual birthday

rykers heard shaped bruise , learning to walk is paying a toll on his head, he seems to have a new bruise every week.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LITTLE BOY! cant believe in 4 months you will no longer be my only baby!!

my baby is 11 months...

i can't believe how much my life has changed in the last 11 months. for the better!

Ryker is now
- crawling/bum scooting everywhere he is so fast
-walking along to couch, ottoman, coffee table, anything
-climbing the stairs
- his favorite foods are yougurt, cottage cheese, cheese, bananas and prunes
-he weened himself from a bottle to a sippy cup
- he gives the best smiles
-he doesn't like to be held upside down
-he loves dogs, he thinks they are hilarious
-he still loves swimming
- recieved his dads stubborness. you really can't make him do something he doesn't want to. especially open his mouth to see what he just found on the floor and put in there.
-still sleeping all night usually 12+ hours
-babbles about anything to anyone who will listen ( usually sounds like he is speaking german)
- has started to play stranger and no longer smiles at the old ladies who come up to him at walmart
- loves to have his neck tickled
-he thinks shoes are toys that tie to his feet
- has hair that sticks straight up, and is red ( which i get complimented on often)
- weighs 18 pounds 8 ounces ( nearly triple his birth weight)
-i can no longer carry him around in the carseat, he has moved to a big boy carseat still facing backwards, which makes him falling asleep in the car a pain because you can't just bring in the whole carseat.
-loves to watch people and cars
-smiles when blake gets home from work
-loves to be outside, even when its cold
- we are trying to work on signs- he seems to make up his own but i get what hes saying so that is good. for example - when he is done eating, he touches his head, even if the food is still in his hands. he pats the table when he wants more. he puts his hand on his eye when he is sleepy. he grabs at his diaper when he wants it changed. whatever works i guess!

we are so excited for him to start walking and talking and turn 1 next month! We are so excited for him to be a big brother as well. he loves babies and i'm hoping the next baby will be great just like him :)